I grew up watching Disney movies and reading fairy tales. In fact, I never really grew out of it. I still love stories about love. The Notebook, Love Actually, Garden State…these are a few of my favorite things.
When I was younger, I fell fast and hard for a couple of nice boys that didn’t end up loving me forever. It broke my heart each time one didn’t turn out to be The One, but I always healed. For the most part.
I went on a date last weekend with a boy I’d been talking to for a couple weeks. When we met face-to-face, there was no immediate reaction in my heart. No Spark telling me he might be The One. I had a good time with him, awkward as I might be, and he asked me if I wanted to go out again.
I said yes.
Because I’m not sure there is a Spark or The One.
How can there be? If there is The One out there somewhere, how can I be sure he’s even in the Reno/Tahoe area? What if he’s in Egypt or Mississippi or the International Space Station?
Does the Spark even exist? Is there love at first sight, or is it simply lust that can sometimes develop into love? Is the Spark always immediate? Can it develop over time?
My mind swims through these questions, begging for air. Begging for a little bit of relief. Begging for the possibility to put aside the questions and learn how to have faith and trust that love won’t evade my heart forever.