Tips for a first date (and my thoughts on them)

On my way home from a friend’s house last night, I was listening to the John Tesh Radio Show: Intelligence for your Life.

John gave some tips for first dates that he had gotten from the dating service It’s Just Lunch. I’m quoting from his website:

  • Know current events. Go online and check out the top headlines, and READ a few stories. You should know something about real news, not just the National Enquirer headlines that you spot while you’re waiting in line at the grocery store – or while surfing TMZ.
  • Know the titles of at least three books on the New York Times best-seller list. It’s even better if you’ve read at least one of them, in case your date has, and wants to discuss it. If you haven’t, at least know the names and authors and what they’re about.
  • Know how to tell at least one joke well, but choose the joke carefully so you don’t offend your date. That’s a sure way to end the date before it has a chance to go anywhere. It’s a good idea to avoid jokes about priests, rabbis, and blondes (especially if your date has blonde hair!)
  • Another thing to know before the first dateAt least one interesting bit of trivia – in case the conversation lags. If you don’t have something in mind, check out the Guinness Book of World Records or google “interesting trivia facts.” Just make sure the fun fact isn’t too gross, since you might be telling it during dinner.
  • Know where you parked your car! You don’t want to look stupid at the end of the evening. Maybe most important of all, if you want the first date to turn into a second date, take a shower and turn off your cell phone before you leave home. According to the New York Post, poor hygiene and answering your cell phone on a date are the top two romance killers.

I have a bone to pick with the person who came up with this list.

When I go on a first date, I want to be myself. Myself is a person who doesn’t know the books on the best-seller list. I don’t care about what books are selling the most copies. Books “written” by kids from the Jersey Shore or one of the Kardashians get on this list. Twilight was probably on that list. If my date is the kind of person who reads books (and oh my gosh I hope he is!), then we will talk about the books we like and the books we’ve read. Not the books that half of America is salivating over.

I am not a “joke” person. Just as I am unintentionally brilliant, I am also unintentionally funny. I am not going to memorize some lame joke just to keep this person interested. He is on this date to meet ME. Not some lame copy of me. I don’t tell jokes in my regular life, why would I do it on a date?

If two people who don’t know each other (or don’t know each other well) can’t keep a conversation going for a two-hour date, then how can I expect to mesh with this person over a longer period of time? I don’t need to “prepare” bits of trivial information just to keep his attention.

Besides, my mind is already filled with trivial information. And I’m sure his is as well. I’d rather fly by the seat my pants in this situation, rather than prepare some script based on someone who is not me.

This is me. Brilliant and silly with a side of crazy. And a mind filled with useless information. I will not be discussing politics or NY Times best-sellers on my dates.

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6 comments on “Tips for a first date (and my thoughts on them)”

  1. Vinobaby

    ::sigh:: Never, ever, listen to John Tesh. Hearing that show at the dentist’s office is more painful than the the drill.

    Be yourself (crazy and all). If they can’t handle it, you know to dump them sooner.

    • Roxanne

      Pretty sure I’m not tuning into that show ever again. Each time I listen, I hear something that annoys me.

      I embrace my crazy, and so should anybody who wants to be with me! 🙂

  2. Jamie

    I AGREE WITH YOU 100%… I know jokes, but they are ALL offensive. I assumed if my date was the type to be easily offended and was unable to find the humor in my lack of a corvette (you win if you get this.) we would NOT make it. Why on EARTH would you waste your precious time with someone who doesn’t get it. Those who would pale at our conversations with Alia won’t fit with our little familia, eh?

    • Roxanne

      Exactly! I need someone who is going to understand the humor in you not having a corvette in your garage! I’d rather not waste my time playing some game and pretending to be someone I’m not. I for sure need someone who can handle our familia.

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