Dating is complicated. Dating as a single parent, even more so. I don’t have just myself to think about anymore. I also have to consider what’s best for my son.
I didn’t start dating until I was in college. I didn’t know who I was, and I definitely didn’t know what I was looking for in a partner. I made mistakes, my heart got broken, and I accepted the lessons from each relationship.
When I got married, I still struggled. We never had the conversations that couples should have before moving in together, before getting married, before having kids. We weren’t as compatible in the domestic side of things as maybe we had thought. We never even talked about how we were going to raise our son.
It was a long time after the divorce before I could really say I was “ready” to date again. I wanted to better know what I wanted in a relationship. I wanted to be picky about the people I dated, both for myself and for my son.
I also made a declaration that I would not introduce T to every guy I went on a date with. I wanted to make sure it had real potential to be a steady relationship before introducing the guy to the number one boy in my life.
Although I believe in being honest with my son, I haven’t sat down and talked to him about me dating. It doesn’t feel necessary yet, and I’m afraid to cause any confusion.
I have, however, started introducing the idea. We’ve talked about how his dad and I used to date, and how we were married (he doesn’t remember his parents being married, so he finds this idea pretty silly). He’s asked me for a little sister, so we’ve talked about how I want to be married before I have any more babies (if I have any more at all).
And then, earlier this week, I told him about how I made a new friend recently.
T wanted to know how I met my new friend, and I told him that he worked at a store I went to a lot. I went there so many times that we started talking and I told him my name.
“And you just talked to him and you both are nice and now you are friends. Then maybe one day you can hang out and do fun stuff. Maybe I can come too!”
I like how simple he makes things.