I felt myself sinking deeper into depression yesterday evening. After dinner, while T was watching a movie, I went to soak in the tub.
I was wallowing. And I recognized it.
So I got myself out of the tub, threw on some clothes, and told T we were going for a walk.
And we walked. To nowhere specific. We just got out of the complex and started walking.
We walked past the fire station, where a firefighter was practicing his golf swing in the parking lot. We walked past the preschool I could never afford to send T to. We walked up to a ridge where we could look down over a small housing community. We could see into people’s backyards. T thought it was awesome.
We found lots of large rocks to climb on and jump off of and grass to do somersaults in.
It started getting darker, so we headed back home. With a promise to each other that we would do it again the next night (tonight).
On the walk back, we were talking about various things when T suddenly informed me that he was going to marry R (a girl at his school).
Me: When are you getting married?
T: I don’t know.
Me: Well how old do you have to be to get married?
T: (shrugs, picks up purple flower) I don’t know.
Me: Then how do you know when you and R are going to get married?
T: (hands me purple flower) I don’t know.
Me: (trying not to laugh) Did you ask R to marry you?
T: (picks up rock and throws it at a bunch of other rocks) No.
Me: Then how do you know you’re going to marry R?”
T: (looking at me with a ‘duh’ expression) Because she told me.
And then we walked the curb like a tightrope and ran into imaginary walls and broke them down with our super strength and flew down the sidewalk with our arms outstretched.
Wallowing in despair avoided.