Driving home from a friend’s house the other night, I was not really paying attention to the radio when a phrase caught my attention.
A study shows that divorce is contagious.
I know, I know. We’ve all heard this crap before. If your parents are divorced, your chances of getting a divorce are more likely. Blah Blah Blah.
But I listened closely to what they were saying.
A study was recently done of something like 5,000 people. The study found that if you have divorced friends, then you are 147% more likely to get a divorce. If your siblings are divorced, then your percentage is 22.
I mean, fine. Whatever. It’s just a study. And divorce is getting a lot more common these days. No big deal.
Except, they did make it into a big deal.
The radio guy kept repeating that divorce is contagious. Like catching the flu from a friend, or lice from your kids, or freaking HIV. Divorce is a disease.
And I can’t help but hear this: Don’t be friends with divorced people.
So you should totally stay away from me. You might catch my cooties.
So the study goes on to say that it’s likely that being around divorced people makes divorce itself seem like a more “real” option. Having trouble in your marriage? Just get a divorce! That’s what Roxanne did. Fight with the husband? Get a divorce! Roxanne makes it look so cool. Did your wife bug you about leaving the toilet seat up again? Divorce her! It was so easy for Roxanne.
This is just so much bullshit.
People are already aware that divorce is an option. Especially these days.
Divorce is a part of life. It’s all over the media. How many celebrities and politicians have gotten divorced?
Don’t bother looking it up. It’s never-ending. Every week we’re subject to BREAKING NEWS because Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor are separated, or Kelsey Grammar is signing more divorce papers. We are bombarded with marriage and divorce and remarriage. It is a part of our lives. Not just the celebrities either.
Divorce is a terrible thing to go through. Even when it’s the best choice, it still feels like a major failure.
Studies like this pay no attention to the people who are the “divorced friends.” Because during and after a divorce? The one thing we need more than anything is our friends. So if you are telling those friends to stay away from me because I’m divorced, you might as well stamp a scarlet D on my forehead and move me to an island where all the other divorcees reside.
I already feel like I failed at marriage. I don’t need you telling me that not only did I fail, but I should also be shunned by my married friends so they don’t catch my “disease.”
Stop treating divorce as a disease. It’s not something you can “catch.”
If you are getting a divorce because your friend (or favorite celebrity) got divorced, well then maybe you’re just too stupid to be in an adult relationship in the first place.
Okay, so I just looked up the study. You can read it here if you want. I am not going to read it (at least not right now). I know that I’m just overreacting about something that came out in 2010. It’s a sensitive subject, when you think about it, for a girl who is divorced and has many lovely friends who are married.
But this is Pour Your Heart Out, so I figured I could make a go for it. Just pour my heart out, get it over with, and be done with it.