This has been the slowest week of my life. I’ve been swamped at work, my desk never cleared of papers and post-its and training manuals needing copies.
And yet, the time passes so slowly. Often I would look up at the clock and be startled to see how little time had passed.
When I get home, time continues to crawl. I find myself diving into projects and then abandoning them, unfinished. There are piles of toys covering the living room floor. I’ve started two books. I watch episodes of House from the DVDs of season five I recently bought.
And, really, after season five it’s hardly even worth watching anymore.
There’s a pile to take to Goodwill, or call for a pick-up, but I haven’t done either. The dishes are piling up in the sink, slower than usual since I’m the only one using them, but piling up just the same. I still need to finish vacuuming from when I started four days ago, the vacuum still standing in the middle of T’s room.
I’ve become lazy with him not around. I see the sun shining outside the windows, because the sun is still up for awhile after I get home from work this time of year, and I think about all I could be doing with him. Playgrounds, bubbles, swimming, taking a walk, riding bikes.
So I sit around and come up with excuses. “I need to relax.” “It’s so nice being alone sometimes.”
And the truth is that I do need to relax, and I do enjoy being by myself sometimes.
But this is too much.
A week and a half without my little monster has just become to much for me to handle.
And I can only imagine how his dad feels. We were talking via text message and I could feel his pain as he told me how much he misses T. He hasn’t seen him in 2 weeks. And now he may have to be out of town for a few days right when T returns.
This whole thing just turned into a giant mess. We’ve done a week before. My dad takes him on a Saturday and returns him the next Saturday or Sunday. It was so much easier. Now it’s just been over a week for me, and there are still 3 more days until I see him.
The toys will probably stay on the living room floor until he gets back. I’ve been making plans with a friend for almost every day, because I don’t want to be sitting at my house alone. I’ll have no time to clean up those toys. But the ones I want to get rid of have already been packed away, out of sight. So I guess I’ll just leave it at that. Maybe I’ll get a little burst of energy one of these evenings to at least put the stuff away, but right now I don’t really find myself caring.
I thought I would get so much done, be so productive, while T was away. And I was, for a little while. Now I just want him back.
|I loverly you, too.|