I’m sitting here at work, frustrated with my job boss paycheck clients, and I keep thinking, Wouldn’t it be nice to ditch work and hang out with T right now?
And then I thought back to last night. What did he do after I got home from the creative writing class?
He cried a lot. I wanted to hide in the closet to escape the crying.
The kid cries all the freaking time.
I don’t think he cried this much when he was a baby.
But now? If I raise my voice even a little bit, he starts crying and hiccuping: Why don’t you love me?
Which breaks my heart, but also grates on my nerves. I just want to scream at him, Of course I love you! But I don’t. I just calmly say, “I love you very much. I just don’t like the way you are behaving.”
So…what do I think would happen if I were to ditch work and go hang out with him?
It would not be all sunshine and butterflies and unicorns pissing rainbows. I can guarantee you that.
I love this kid more than anything in the entire world. And when we have good days, they are really good. But our bad days? They are the end of the world. They seem to be happening more often lately.
And not just in a his-dad-just-moved-out-and-he’s-upset-about-changes type of lately. I mean in a he-skipped-the-terrible-twos-and-decided-to-join-the-frustrating-fours type of lately.
Now I’m trying to figure out how I can avoid all crying and whining tonight…for the both of us.
|We have good days. Lots of them. These smiles aren’t just for the camera.|