This is the story you’ve been waiting for…

Photo from here

Well now I feel like I’ve obligated myself to you, to tell the story about the time I bit Kristi Yamaguchi‘s dad.

I was born and raised in Fremont, CA. And Kristi was born in Hayward but grew up in Fremont. Kristi’s dad was (and might still be, I don’t really know) a dentist.

He was my dentist.

In a long line of dentists. When I was a kid, I hated going to the dentist. And this resulted in my mom having to constantly take me to new dentists. I guess to see if there would be one that I might like? I don’t really know. I’d say I’ll ask her, but I’ll probably forget.

I have a terrible memory.

Oh! So anyway. Dr. Yamaguchi was just one in a very long line of dentists who got to suffer through my hysterical yelling any time I was asked to merely open my mouth. I didn’t even like getting my teeth cleaned. I still have to be gassed just for a simple filling. And I tense up pretty bad for cleanings. But I don’t scream anymore. Yay for growing up!

I think I saw Dr. Yamaguchi only twice. I think. Like I said, terrible memory. All I do know, is that he was standing over me asking me to open my mouth so he could fill a cavity? clean my teeth? whatever. He wanted to torture me. So he asked me to open my mouth. I clenched it shut tight.

So he proceeded to dig his grubby little hands into my mouth and yank my mouth open.

So I bit him.

And that is the story about the time I bit Kristi Yamaguchi’s dad.

I know, it’s thrilling.

And I think I found the title to my memoir: Hello, my name is Roxanne and I Bit Kristi Yamaguchi’s Dad. You’d buy it based on title alone, right?

Yeah, me too.

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