Going to the gym wouldn’t be so bad if I could get my brain to shut the eff up….

–Alright! Gym time! Forty minutes of uninterrupted time to read on the elliptical. Feeling great!

–Stupid skinny girl hogging my favorite machine. What does she need to work out for?

–I wonder what that machine does? Looks more like a torture device.

–Well that girl is probably so skinny because she works out. See? If I keep this up, I could look like that some day. (yes I know I’m delusional)

–I forgot what I was reading…oh right here we go…

–How come there aren’t any fat people here? I’m always the fattest one here, no matter what time I show up. All these people are either super skinny or super buff.

–That skinny girl isn’t even breaking a sweat! She’s chatting on her cell phone! I get on this thing and I can barely breath, much less talk so calmly!

–How the f*** can I change the radio station? If I hear Lady Gaga one more time I’m going to hurl…my shoe at someone.

–Right. Reading. Um….I think I read that sentence already.

–Oh check out that commercial. I could really use a doughnut right about now.

–Skinny girl is finished. Still no sweat. I’ve been here 10 minutes and I’m already soaked.

–What is with that guy in the cardigan doing the leg-push-machine-thing?

–Why do gyms always have mirrors everywhere? I really don’t need the constant reminder of what I look like, thanks.

–Now cardigan guy is sitting at the bench press flipping through US Weekly. I’m getting creeped out…

–I really need a cupcake…

–Dammit! I’ve read the same sentence twenty-five times. How can these people concentrate with three TVs showing three different things, plus the radio on at full volume? What time do I need to get here so I can turn all this shit off?

–Lady Gaga again? If I wasn’t trying to punish myself for drinking a soda earlier, I’d totally leave.

–Why is there a soda machine in the gym?

–Eff the skinny girl. I feel like dying and a week at the gym hasn’t made a single shred of difference. I’ll judge her all I want to. Who cares if she might be really nice and works really hard to look like she does? I don’t know her. I’ll project all my insecurities on her if I want to. Because right now she is just representing who I’m sure my ex picked over me. Eff them all.

–Wow; forty minutes already? I was just getting into the book. Probably could have read more if I wasn’t paying so much attention to skinny girl and creepy cardigan guy—-wait where did he go?

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