To start our story, let me give you a little bit of background information. I have been waiting for almost a week to take the kiddo the see Santa Claus at the library near our house. I even had a reminder set on my phone so I wouldn’t forget. I’m not crazy about Christmas, but visiting Santa is a tradition from my childhood that I’m fond of. I don’t really know why. It’s just something I want to share with my own kid. So anywhere…here’s the story of the events that transpired last evening…
“I get to see Santa? Sweet! I am so freaking excited when is it going to be my turn?”
“I guess waiting for Santa isn’t so bad. I get to sit here and stuff my face with animal crackers. Can I have another one? And another one? And another one? Nom nom nom…”
“Well, I guess to pass the time I can color some pictures of Transformers. But I don’t want to color too much because I want to see Santa and it’ll be my turn soon. We just have to wait because there are lots of kids here that want to see Santa.”
This is actually a terrible rendering of what happened. The kiddo wouldn’t go near the guy. I told him to at least go up and say hi. So he stood fifteen feet away and waved a very small wave. He wouldn’t go any closer. Wouldn’t say a word to him. (Not that I particularly blame him. That guy was not a very good Santa. He was probably twenty-five years old and had a really bad fake beard.)
I really shouldn’t be surprised. Last year, Santa had to get down on the floor just to be in a picture with the kiddo. The petrified look below is the same exact face he had in the year prior, except that year then-current husband and I had to be in the picture so the kiddo would stop screaming. And the year before that he just screamed.
So, really, the moral of this story is…why in the world are we even teaching our kids that it’s perfectly normal to sit on some old guy’s lap and tell him what kind of presents he should get you? I know, that’s not a moral but it’s still something to think about. Right?
Anyway, I guess this year’s holiday card could just have that rendering I made. Because that would be totally awesome.
P.S. I totally realize that my holiday card does not have to have Santa on it. Last year’s didn’t, and it was probably the cutest picture of the kiddo ever. I am just sitting here amusing myself with renderings of my child.