Trip to the Doc…and a little bit of hating on Jenny McCarthy (but just a little bit)

The kiddo and I got a new doctor. I haven’t seen a doc since that whole 6-weeks-after-you-pop-a-baby-out appointment. I’ve been at my new job long enough to have health insurance, so I figure I better take advantage of it before these people drive me crazy and I quit.

The first step was to find a doctor. I really wanted to find one that would see both the little monster and me because, frankly, I’m lazy. When the kiddo was born, he was premature and I had to keep track of a long list of specialists. It was exhausting. So this seemed a lot easier. So I did the “mommy thing” and did some research on the local docs.

And of course by “research” I mean I posted a request on facebook for my local friends to recommend some good docs for me. Which they did. And I ignored their recommendations and just called the first one on the list from my insurance that had an office near my house.

When I called, the nice lady on the other end of the phone had the brilliant idea to schedule our appointments back-to-back. This sounded like a great idea. I would take the kiddo in, get him all check out and vaccinated and such, then leave him out in the waiting room with his dad so I could have my “girly” appointment. Brilliant!

So we arrive, 15 minutes early because I may be lazy but I am chronically early for everything, and they make us wait until 5 o’clock (the time of our first appointment). Bonus point 1 for this doc: they get us in at the appointment time. Sweet deal.

So the nurse (or med assistant, I don’t really know.) first weighs me, then the kiddo. The kiddo has gained a whole 5 pounds since he turned 3….a year ago. But she doesn’t seem worried, so neither do I. Their scale seems a bit off from the one I have at home, so I leave myself a mental note to immediately throw my scale away.

Next, she takes us into the room and does the blood pressure, temperature, let’s check if you’re healthy routine. She asks me all the necessary questions about family history and current feelings.

Then, kiddo makes a fatal mistake.

He tells her that he’s been coughing a lot. And then precedes to demonstrate.

Background: He’s had this little cough for about 2 days. Being an atypical mama, I am not worried. At all. It’s a cough. BFD.

Then she launches into this long Q&A about the cough and how long has it lasted and is he coughing anything up and does he have a fever and I tell her 2 days, no and no. So she tells us to wait for the doc.

Who doesn’t actually show up yet. Instead, we get a med student. Which is cool with me because he’s friendly and doesn’t mind my kiddo being a freaking maniac running around the tiny room asking what’s this what’s this what’s this. He does some doctorly stuff and listens to the kiddo’s lungs (which I already know sound fine). He looks through the discharge paperwork from when the kiddo was in the NICU for 78 days (remember? preemie) and comments on how great he is doing.

Yeah, I know.

He leaves for a little while, and then returns with – TA DA! – the doc. We chat, blah blah blah, and he mentions the kiddo’s cough. Then he launches into another discussion about the cough. As if I’m freaking worried. All I want to do is shout: IT’S JUST A COUGH SHUT THE EFF UP. Oh yeah, and he can’t get his immunizations (yeah, that’s right Jenny McCarthy. I vaccinate my child. What?) because it is five days before his birthday. The doc blames the insurance company, which I like because I hate insurance companies more than I hate eating tomatoes and working out.

So we have to schedule a second appointment for the kiddo.

Then, the doc asks me the last time I had a “girly” appointment, and I am honest and I say when this kiddo was 6 weeks old. It’s a bad answer, but at least I’m honest. Since he is talking about the girly stuff, I tell him that I’m going to take the kiddo the waiting room to wait with his dad. Because I really wanted two separate appointments.

So out he goes, and back I come into the tiny room with the doc and the med student. Presumably to take care of my “lady parts.”

Instead, the doc informs me that since this is an “establishing new patient” appointment, the insurance won’t pay for the girly stuff. That’s right, I have to schedule a separate appointment. Oh, and I have to get some labs done too.


So what was the point in sending the kiddo out of the room? None at all. I chat with the doc a bit more, tell them both it was nice to meet them, and head out to schedule more appointments.

I paid $30 to introduce myself and my crazy child to the doc and the med student. Who are nice enough, but not exactly worth my money quite yet. I mean, come on, what did they actually do for me during this appointment?

Oh, and I got a tetanus shot. So I guess that was useful.

Also, if you are going to do a dual appointment with a mom & her kid, you should only charge one co-pay. Because we didn’t get our own appointments. It was one, and it took the same amount of time if it had been an appointment for only one of us.


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