Bits ‘n’ Pieces

1. A friend asked me today when my little kiddo said his first word. I briefly felt like a bad mom for not knowing the exact day and time. Then I congratulated myself for remembering the word was “book” and it was sometime before now. Obviously. Because the kid won’t stop talking.

2. I have the worst neighbor in the history of bad neighbors. Except for any neighbors that have raped or murdered people. I guess she’s not that bad. But listening to her yell at the birds for making noise, the cars for driving by, and seeing her in all her pants-less glory during the summer are driving me crazy.

3. I was watching crappy TV last night, and a commercial came on where these really sad looking children looked at the camera (looked at me!) and talked about how their mothers were depressed and all that jazz. The last little girl told me that her mother killed herself. Then this smug female narrator came on and told me that my depression is killing my child and I should call West Hills Hospital for help. I almost did.

4. I saw this at the store yesterday. Please explain to me how a 12-year-old gets a book deal to write memoirs. Everyone and their freakin’ famous mother is writing books. I’m not so sure I want to be one anymore.

Oh, and writing out TO is really hard these days.

5. I watched How I Met Your Mother for the first time last night. It was pretty funny. But it reminded me why I watch dramas more often. I hate studio audiences. It’s like they are telling me, This is funny; laugh now. Which makes me want to not laugh, just to spite them.

6. Check out my Jerseylicious makeover.

OhEmGee! I totally need to reapply my spray tan. I’m not looking
quite orange enough today!
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